The other woman in the bed

"i had the best sex of my life the other day!" my friend sarah beamed over coffee

she had been hinting at this for weeks, so i sat and listened intently

apparently she met D (we shall call him D to protect his privacy) at work, they connected because D gets paid to beat the crap out of her ex, a thing both enjoy

she went round his and watched a movie, then he went round hers for coffee

"i dont know what happened but suddenly he was fucking me against my kitchen door! it was soooooo hot!" she sighed

"easy girl! your fogging up my glasses!" i laughed, "so you and him are dating now?"

"ah!" she paused sipping her coffee deep

"ah?" i asked

"hes got a girlfriend........" she said

"oh sarah! your the other woman?"

"well yeah but i know i am, he said basically i'm his dirty little secret, i dont tell and he comes and fucks me!"

"sarah!" i said thinking deep, "as your friend i gotta say this, you can do better than being 'the other woman'!"

"i know i know!" she sighed, i dropped the subject

my personal phillosophy is if i know someones got a partner they are off limits no matter what, dont get me wrong i know like everyone else that a wedding band comes off but those scenarios are down to the other persons deception, not mine

the way i see it is somewhere out there their partner and possibly kids are waiting for them to come home, clueless to what daddys doing, how would i feel if my boyfriend was cheating

"im pretty sure hes gonna dump his girlfriend for me though" sarah said darkly

"and what if he doesnt? this isnt some mills and boon novel you know!" i asked "better yet, what if he does leave his girlfriend for you? you do know he will probably cheat on you too dont you?"

"i know matt, look for once in your life dont be such a stick in the mud and be happy for me"

"im happy for you" i sighed "but you and i both know im the mother hen of anyones friendship groups, i wouldnt be doing my job if i didnt point out the holes in your erotic dreams!"

single again

i broke up with giles, he made me into a paranoid wreck.

A friend rung me for support and for a brief second i thought "i shouldnt do this, my bf will get mad!" then i thought "am i actually questioning whether i should help a friend?"

fantasies- from dreams to reality?

Michael was in trouble, BIG trouble

Michael had always had a fantasy of having rough, kinky, dominatrix, slap me about sex, and he found the perfect submissive guy online and they met.

"the guy was into being forced...." he muttered staring at his coffee

"forced?" I asked fearing I knew where this was going

"so I figured his no, stop etc was part of the act"

"you didnt come up with a safety word?" i asked, feeling like the biggest sex fiend in the world, but it was basic rough sex 101

"erm no"

"go on" i sighed knowing the conclusion

"so i finished and we left on good terms, he was satisfied and wanted to do it again, yesterday the police called, hes accusing me of sexual assault" Michael practically sobbed

I knew Michaels fantasy probably didnt conclude like this in his head, sadly its how it did end, luckily the guy in question was known to police for filing nusance claims so nothing came of it, even if it had, Michael had evidence the man consented.

This got me thinking, should you act upon a fantasy?

Once back when I was younger and more naive 2 guys wanted to have a 3sum with me, it was nice, nothing to write home about. Shortly after the 3sum the couple broke up, and both chased me, so I know how dangerous a fantasy can be.

My advice to anyone who is thinking about fulfilling a fantasy, think about it carefully, chances are its not as hot in reality, even in porn its not that hot in reality. Also cover your back, especially if your fantasy involves pain.

Michael learnt three things through his ordeal, 1. he likes rough kinky sex, 2. always have a safety word and 3. if alarm bells ring regarding the partner, whether it be its their first time, or they seem odd, get in writting the fact they consent to the treatment your giving them, though ofcourse try to make it erotic ;)

Also threesomes are best done by 3 single people, not 1 couple and a 3rd wheel.

can exes be friends?

was watching Pierce Morgan interview Cheryl Cole/Tweedy where she revealed she hopes one day to be friends with her ex ashley cole

As she said this I scanned my past relationships, out of 10 boyfriends i am friends with none of them at all, nor would I be to be honest

so i pose the question, can we truly be friends with exes?

turn the page and keep it turned?

"he knows!" panted my BFF

"knows what?" I asked

"about sam!"

suddenly I was transported back to 2005, BFF and I were much younger and slimmer then but if you asked us at the time we would have called you a liar.

BFF dated a guy named Sam for a week, they broke up due irreconsilable differences, looking back sam did have a weirdo mate, but that couldnt be the bffs bf?

yes it was

"he wont look at me, he wont touch me, he wont speak to me I dont know what to do!"

this threw me, surely if the relationship is in the past then its not a threat and therefore shouldnt be an issue, unless your insecure?

after much talking the pair reconciled

but do we ever escape our pasts really?

have we replaced our friends with books?

there was a time we would go round our friends for dating tips, but more and more of us are turning our sad lonely tear filled eyes to the self help section of our local book store.

Dont get me wrong theres a place for a self help book, but dont use them instead of a friend and dont buy half the self help section to find the one writer who speaks to you the most.

One bit of advice I can give, if you are going to follow a self help books advice, find a friend and do it together, Gina my best friend and I followed the book "he's just not that into you" by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccilo and both loved it, and to this day swear by its teachings, and refresh eachothers memories when we wobble on the principles, that way allowing friends and books to work in unison to mend a broken heart and help us move forward into healthier relationships

Too busy for love?

i couldnt help musing the other day, in a world where kids as young as 12 are planning their whole future, do we as a species have time to find the one



we barely have time to wait for a microwave meal let alone a date!

I have a friend who changes her bfs more often than she changes her knickers, and swears she loves eachone

Then theres my other friend, married after 6 months, divorced less than a year later, im sorry but im fearing for the health of love

come cupid get a better aim, or buy stronger bows!